Friday, November 23, 2012


Idols. Those amazing individuals who can do no wrong. Those unerring, sinless role models. I am so sorry to burst your bubble, but such people do not exist.

I think it's wonderful to admire people. Take note of what impresses you, and try to better yourself with the quality as a goal.

I think it's unhealthy to idolize people. It hurts. As a matter of fact, it can hurt both sides.

I have been unfortunate enough to have idolized and to have been idolized. It will be easy to share the experiences in the later-mentioned situation, but it will be a struggle to admit my wrongs in the former. Nevertheless, this blog post will do no good if I cannot be honest.

I honestly don't know what they see in me.

Sure, I'm smart and have a talent or two, but the people I have in mind don't even really know me. We all love compliments, and we all love being appreciated, but it's just awkward when such things are unfounded or exaggerated yet sincere.

I'm no celebrity, so maybe it's just that I am not used to having a fan or two. I just don't have a clue about how I am supposed to respond. Do I sit down and explain things to them and risk insulting them? Do I joke about it and thus encourage it? Do I thank them for their compliments and implicitly admit superiority that doesn't exist? And what if I mess up?

I don't know what to do, but maybe I can find wisdom in my past mistakes.

In a time of struggle, hope can make the difference. When the world seems to be trying to knock you down, you need a solid rock on which to stand. If only there were at least one thing in this world that is perfect. God is hard to see, but what if there were a tangible physical something or someone on which you could rely?

Usually, it's someone in a position of power. Occassionally, it only takes someone who paid attention. Sometimes, an admirable quality starts the ball rolling. A combination of these things is perfect.

You try to better yourself, you try new things, and you do lots of stuff to get their attention. If it isn't good enough, why not try some self-destructive behavior just to see what happens? That doesn't work, so you go to more extremes. This isn't at all healthy!

Why did I stop? Was it the inability to carry out my foolish plans? Hah... no. Was it someone new? If it were, I wouldn't be stopping; I would be moving to someone new. No, dear reader, my self esteem improved.

The point of such an obsession is to have a reason to keep going in a world that resembles Hell. When you are able to take care of yourself in this world that, in my opinion, does sometimes resemble an evil place of torture -- only when you can take care of yourself in this world can you escape from the dependance on the idea of a perfect person.

So what should I do in the position of the one being idolized?

To be perfectly honest... I have no idea! Maybe trying to improve the self esteem of the idolizers? That probably won't work for the many of you more awesome people. Time just won't allow this approach! I'll keep a lookout and maybe ask a few more well-known people how they handle their fans.

I bid my regular readers a wonderful stalker-less life until next time. I do have one more thing to say on this topic to someone not currently a regular reader, though.

At the risk of being misunderstood as insincere, I must refrain from delivering this apology in a manner that ensures receipt. I must instead rely upon fate to bring you to this message.

I would like to apologize for my foolishness. It wasn't until I was in your situation that I realized why you made the decisions that you made. At the time, I was hurt and angry. Now I know that there simply were no good choices that you could make. Looking back, I know exactly why I did what I did. But even knowing the mind of the fan (I say fan because I don't want to label my past self with a harsher word), I know not what to do if one is the target of such admiration. You are blameless.

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